Monthly Archives: November 2008

I Say Turkey Necrophilia? You Say Turducken!

Let’s call the whole thing off. No, seriously.

I left the wine out of this one. It’s too painful. Yes, turkey necrophilia is disgusting, and so is Turducken, maybe even moreso. A chicken stuffed in a duck stuffed in a turkey is wrong. Please tell me the guy who invented this dish served jail time. Why no, in fact, Cajun-creole fusion chef Paul Prudhomme expanded his gourmet direction for Duvall Days, a festival in Duvall, WA, less then 20 miles NE of Seattle. I don’t know which I find more terrifying — to know people eat this concoction or know that the guy who invented lives within a short drive from my house.

For the record, I am not a vegetarian. But when hamburger was named, it was not a result of a pig stuffed in a cow, though that would actually make it make sense. Stuff cheese, stuff spinach even dried fruit — but hold up on stuffing a post-living creature inside another. No doubt, this time of year, Turkeys get the shaft. But do they have to get the DUCKEN too? Out of respect for the deceased, I believe the only thing that should be shoved in a turkey’s cavity is a few, generous handfuls of smokey-bacon biscuit dressing. Bacon is its own entity; let’s be clear.

What’s that? Oh, you think you’re funny? Then throw your idea out there!

James Oliver Cury is calling for a new species on Epicurious

Turpigen – A chicken stuffed inside a suckling pig stuffed inside a turkey.
Turrabtle – A turtle stuffed inside a rabbit stuffed inside a turkey.
Turraviopus – An octopus stuffed inside a ravioli stuffed inside a turkey.
Turcankers – A Snickers bar stuffed inside a cannoli stuffed inside a turkey

Recommended wine? Skip the wine, and go straight to the Absinthe, don’t even try to pass go this time.

Photo: Wikipedia
I came close to putting this one up, but couldn’t do it. – Step 6 in the recipe



The Taste of Two Lovelies

Sister-love is in the air and for some that’s simply exciting enough! Two hard-to-get beauties here, Cashmere 2005 and 2006, made from the oldest block of Cold Creek chardonnay in the Horse Heaven hills.

First up, 2005 — its stilettos are high and the eyeballs are low as Ms. Cashmere 2005 swaggers about in gold lamay. A sexy, citrus, C.F.M. air greets you with a splash, followed by traces of lemon peel and pump grapefruit. Draw in slowly, and it will take you deeper, until a shower of creamy vanilla ribbon coils around the tip of your tongue. Truly a glass of rumble in the jungle and we’re not talking tropical. It has strong stamina on the finish that shakes the fruit off the trees, yet is smooth enough to turn on a 5-inch heel without breaking it. Come again?

On to the 2006 — this glass of blond splendor is similar in style, and yet entirely different. Cashmere 2006 has French attitude and an aloof sweetness. What’s your sign? “Do not disturb.” But when the lights go down, this baby unfolds into marshmallow juiciness between two soft graham crackers. It’s a robust Chardonnay that offers all that’s unrevealed against winter-white chili and a crispy baguette. Wrap up in a Cashmere and swathe in delight.

Small case production and likely sold out. Contact: to inquire
Thumbs? Up and Up and Up to both of these lovelies…

Slap My Face, Slap My Ass

Yes, there’s been a break, but I’ve taken up drinking again… a 1998 Penfolds Bin 407 Cab from South Australia.

Penfolds Bin 407, its presence is palpable. Dark ink imbues your mouth with ripe, rich expressions of black olive, blackberry and black currant. Such shaded darkness makes for a wonderful secret or a wicked surprise. Are they irreconcilable or one in the same? A slap on the face…surprising; a slap on the ass, may be best kept a secret. Ten years in and this wine is used to being noticed, or bothered. Poised tannins lead to a startling clear pomegranate finish. It drops its voice and leans in with round, suppleness, gives chills on the surface with a visceral allure. Love is in the air, and we can ALL feel it!