I Say Turkey Necrophilia? You Say Turducken!


Let’s call the whole thing off. No, seriously.

I left the wine out of this one. It’s too painful. Yes, turkey necrophilia is disgusting, and so is Turducken, maybe even moreso. A chicken stuffed in a duck stuffed in a turkey is wrong. Please tell me the guy who invented this dish served jail time. Why no, in fact, Cajun-creole fusion chef Paul Prudhomme expanded his gourmet direction for Duvall Days, a festival in Duvall, WA, less then 20 miles NE of Seattle. I don’t know which I find more terrifying — to know people eat this concoction or know that the guy who invented lives within a short drive from my house.

For the record, I am not a vegetarian. But when hamburger was named, it was not a result of a pig stuffed in a cow, though that would actually make it make sense. Stuff cheese, stuff spinach even dried fruit — but hold up on stuffing a post-living creature inside another. No doubt, this time of year, Turkeys get the shaft. But do they have to get the DUCKEN too? Out of respect for the deceased, I believe the only thing that should be shoved in a turkey’s cavity is a few, generous handfuls of smokey-bacon biscuit dressing. Bacon is its own entity; let’s be clear.

What’s that? Oh, you think you’re funny? Then throw your idea out there!

James Oliver Cury is calling for a new species on Epicurious

Turpigen – A chicken stuffed inside a suckling pig stuffed inside a turkey.
Turrabtle – A turtle stuffed inside a rabbit stuffed inside a turkey.
Turraviopus – An octopus stuffed inside a ravioli stuffed inside a turkey.
Turcankers – A Snickers bar stuffed inside a cannoli stuffed inside a turkey

Recommended wine? Skip the wine, and go straight to the Absinthe, don’t even try to pass go this time.

Photo: Wikipedia
I came close to putting this one up, but couldn’t do it. About.com – Step 6 in the recipe

OH, YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO TELL ME? LEAVE IT HERE (NOT ON FACEBOOK, SILLY)

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2 responses to “I Say Turkey Necrophilia? You Say Turducken!

  1. i couldn’t agree more…have never understood the appeal of this idea…and i’m a meat-eater too!

  2. Turbaconducken, Turducken where everything’s wrapped in bacon, too.

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