Monthly Archives: December 2010

Uganda Outdrinks ALL Other Planets

This just in: 

  • Men outdrink women by 11 percent.
  • The rich outdrink the poor by 27 percent.
  • Homosexuals outdrink heterosexuals by 16 percent.
  • The number of American women who binge-drink during the first trimesters of their pregnancies has nearly doubled since 2006.
  • Outdrinking all other nations on earth by far is Uganda.

Don’t let the door of 2010 hit’cha in the ass this evening.  Happy and Safe New Year!

Source: Stuck, Psychology Today

Photo Credit

Posted by Teri Citterman

A Stiletto Wine Finish

I know I’m stating the obvious when I say Strut Red Over Heels, 2008, Okanogan BC checks its inhibitions at the door.  It’s crimsonly simple with astute acid and tannic intentions. Silken and wiggling, this wine breathes Merlot in the form of canned cranberry, cherry and spicy red current. Black sheer stockings with seems up the middle light up the night, as a plunge of low-cut fruit envelopes your tongue leading to a stiletto-heeled finish.  Tread lightly!

Photo: Strut Wines

Posted by Teri Citterman

It’s Not Me, It’s YOU Wine

“It’s not you, it’s me” really means IT’S YOU.  Make no mistake, break ups are hard even when they’re necessary.  In its Italian-ified Pinot Noir way Wilridge, 2007, Nebbiolo does not mince words. It’s pretty and light, and packs a powerful tannic punch. You might feel used, maybe abused if you’re lucky.  And I’ll hedge my bet there were parts of you that liked it a little more than a lot. This wine springs solid mid-tongue tannins that hit right where you hoped they would. Juicy and difficult, baby it – then beat it silly! Screaming bright cherry and pomegranate, its finish releases into a long rope of black licorice.  Steel fist in a velvet glove, they say.  Oh, I believe them.

Photo: Wilridge Winery

Posted by Teri Citterman

Christmas Mistress and Wine

Let’s be clear…in the song ‘Santa Baby’, it ain’t the wife askin’ Santa to come down the chimney and trim her Christmas tree.  Some wives don’t– and the forgone conclusion is – other women do, so this is the mistress-themed Christmas song, and Torii Mor, 2008, Willamette Valley Pinot Noir is the ‘not-the-wife’ wine.  Put the two together and you’ve got the makings for a clandestine evening. Torii Mor kicks off the covers, where there’s a lot MORE going on underneath layers of smooth spice, bright cherry and blackberry. It’s a pretty wine, simply robed in earthy ruby, cranberry and dried red fruit. Poised acid entwines its legs around rich rhythms of raspberry leading to a long, then lonnnnn-ger, finish.

Photo: Torii Mor Winery

Posted by Teri Citterman

Rough Justice – If You’re Lucky

Nothing says wake the f**k up like three of Seattle’s finest at my door with assault rifles. That was 4:20am this morning (yes, I get the irony.) A neighbor believed he heard gunshots fired in my condo and called the boys in.  It’s not an unlikely scenario, but no shots were fired from my flat (this time.)  Nonetheless, cops with big guns are either jarring or pleasant — or jarringly pleasant if you’re lucky.  Christmas is comin’ early and Barrister Winery’s “Rough Justice” delivers the gifts. This wine breathes with a hard nose and structured stamina.  Black plum and black lace beg to be subdued, while graham cracker pie crust swirls through shocks of blackberry pie filling.  Rich and jammy, this wine does a little more than suggest you pay attention.  Silky tannins and a drawn out finish make me pretty damn eager to cooperate. Where are your handcuffs now, Mr. Officer?

PS Looking for a stellar burlesque name? Rough Justice is a pretty great one.  Just sayin’

Photo: Cellar Tracker

Posted by Teri Citterman

Wine and Sex at the In-Laws

Traveling to family this holiday season?  Well sex at the parents, not to mention at the in-laws, is…let’s say…awkward (and for some a probable no-no). So for all the romanticism of holiday music, your white Christmas may feel a little frosty. I say deck the halls in Red, Red, Red and take the road less traveled.  Assuredly, it will make all the difference. Nelms Road, 2008, Merlot, Washington State, leads you straight to the nearest hotel. If only for an hour, this wine is a dalliance from family appropriateness. It tempts your tastebuds in a mouthwatering tryst of deep, sweet black current and pepper. Vanilla, blackberry and dark, ripe raspberry meander through a rage of round and supple tannins full and cascading to a fine and warranted finish.  Plan accordingly.

Photo: Woodward Canyon

Posted by Teri Citterman

Kiss Me Like a Smoker

My tongue is black from the plumy dark kiss I just received from Gifford Hirlinger, 2008 Cab Blend.  Ripe with fresh fruitiness, this juice is a taste of cherry poppin’ tartlet.  Its mouthwatering ashiness, gives a slight feeling of just-kissed by a smoker.  Oh, you say it like it’s a bad thing!  And it is, but only for a moment.  Then, the kiss turns inside out — taken over by throaty tannins and warm delight. This wine throws down and satiates.

Photo: Gifford Hirlinger

Posted by Teri Citterman