Wine Gift Idea: A Bottle of ‘Are You F-ing Kidding Me!’

I need to give a gift to my local car dealership. Why?  Let’s just say the best way to convey my message is with a cheap bottle of  ‘Are You F-ing Kidding Me!’  Here’s how it unraveled:

First: we want to buy your car

Him: Hi Teri. This is Sam (not his real name) from Luxury Car Dealership. I see you brought your car in for service in November.

Me: Yes. And actually, the steering is still pulling.

Him: Oh. Well, that’s not why I’m calling. We have a vehicle shortage of your particular model, and I’m wondering if you’d be willing to let us buy it from you.

Me: Um… I’ve only owned it since October, but what the hell?  I am scheduled for an oil change on Saturday at 8:30am. We can discuss it then.

Him: Oh that won’t work. I don’t work until 11.  Can you bring it in this weekend, like tomorrow? Because we may have a buyer (said with great urgency).

Me:  Well… (let me try and accommodate your work schedule, Sam….But, admittedly, I was curious…) I can stop by tomorrow around 2pm (25 minutes out of my way.)

Second: at dealership next day – why do you want to sell your car

Him: So, why do you want to sell your car?

Me: I don’t. You called me.

Him: Oh, right… If we’re able to get you a great price on it, would you upgrade to a 2013 model?

Me: Is this why I’m here?

Him:  No, no… just wondering…Wait! Weren’t you the one that wanted to buy a Chevy?

Me: Sam. I don’t know what you’re talking about.


Text to boyfriend: Why does car dealership feel like trip to gynecologist

Text from boyfriend: because their hands are in all the wrong holes

Third: 45 minutes later and a thorough examination

Him: The used car manager just needs to sign off on the final offer.  (Reappears 10 minutes later.) …Seems, he’s not working today. Can you come in on Tuesday, when he’s here?

Me: (Dumbfounded exasperation spreading like lava across my face)

Him: I know that’s not the answer you wanted to hear…

Me:  Sam. That is not an answer. That is a problem. No, I cannot come in Tuesday. I will be here Saturday, at 8:30, to service my car.

Him: Oh, that’s right. I start at 11. Could you come in later?  I know…(flashes flirty smile) I should be fired…. I’m sorry.

Last: make it right call

Needless to say, an electrified email sparked a call from the general manager the next day.

GM: ….is there anything we can do?

Me: I’d like a loaner car during while my car gets serviced

GM: Oh, we don’t usually give loaner cars when you come in for service.

Me: Yah, I don’t usually spend 2 hours on a Sunday at your dealership….

Based on the myriad of promises – free service, free gas, free loaner car, I do believe they will make this right.


One response to “Wine Gift Idea: A Bottle of ‘Are You F-ing Kidding Me!’

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