Another absurd piece of meat vomit showed up in the world of sensory overload. This week, CNN reported ‘Jury finds Jodi Airas was cruel when she killed her ex-boyfriend.’ This apparently tips her into the possibility of facing the death penalty. You should know I have no intention of pondering beyond the sixty-seven seconds it takes me to write this, but I am just a little curious about when exactly the line between killing and killing someone cruelly gets crossed. So, I have a few questions:
• If he had been stabbed 27 times, but in the shapes of little stars, could this have been considered less cruel?
• If she tied a bow around his throat rather than slashed it, could she have avoided the cruel label?
• Had he been found tucked in his bed instead of slumped in the shower, would cruel have simply been dismissed?
I’m just brainstorming here. But speaking of showers, I just learned I have a girlfriend who SITS in the shower drinking wine, dipping her face in the water from time to time, pretending she’s in a tropical rain storm. While I consider this unusual, the cruelest part has to be when the shower head goes rogue and sprays into your glass. That would cross my line into some level of cruelty. Bath?
Posted by Teri Citterman
When you shoot the guy, who was going to shoot the guy, you’re dying to see dead, all bets are off. Metaphorically speaking, I mean. Confrontation can be a barrel of fun or a pain in the bunghole – just depends whether your glass is half full or half empty. Pause; pour some more. Barons V, 2008 Cabernet Sauvignon is rich and elegant, tangled up in black cherry and black currant, which wrestles gracefully with straps of smoke and leather. This dark red juice knows the rules and the ones it needs to break to get where it’s going; the first rule of Fight Club is you DO NOT talk about Fight Club.
Seriously, who doesn’t know that!
Posted by Teri Citterman
David Sedaris killed Billie Holiday for me. I know I’m not the only one, but since I heard his rendition of Silent Night in ‘Billie Holiday’ style, it’s ruined. I cannot listen to her screechy, door-creaking voice, even when it really is her. It’s worse when he does the Oscar Mayer Wiener Song. It’s accurate and disturbing. Dammit! I need a drink.
Fortunately, she sang a song called Lilac Wine, which, if you say out loud, sounds like you’re saying “I Like Wine”, which frankly, I can get on board with. Redemption.
Barrister Winery’s Rough Justice truly is the stage kitten of wine. Breathing gently with black plum boa and dark lace – purring and pleading to be subdued by a swirl of graham cracker pie crust. Rich and jammy, this wine does a little more than suggest you pay attention with shocks of blackberry filling, pasties a-twirling, silky tannins and a drawn-out finish to make any onlooker pretty damn eager to indulge.
One of my favorites…
Posted by Teri Citterman
Please help me understand why I find these tasting notes written by a local wine store so troubling? I say crazy shit, but this reads like a potpourri of meat vomit projecting in every direction.
Roasted marrowbones, cured meat, black olive, minerals and cracked black pepper are wrapped in layers of violets, wet tobacco and warm soil.
- Is it because the aroma described matches the fragrance of my grandmother’s cooking mixed with a large dose of her perfume?
- Is it because marrowbones and minerals sound like a calcium supplement I should be taking to prevent osteoporosis?
- Is it because I realize I need to infuse more meat products into my own writing?
- Is it because I feel they’re trying too hard?
I don’t know, but it really bothers me….
Posted in Syrah, Wine
Tagged Syrah, Wine
Dear Teri – I run a daycare from my home and am disturbed by my next-door neighbor who insists on sunbathing in her back yard in the nude. There is really not much room in between our houses and it’s a matter of time before the children see. I am embarrassed to say anything because it is her property. I’m not sure what to do.
Hmm. What to do…. keep the shades drawn, the children inside? Buy a higher fence? Maybe some bushes? And while you’re sitting in the dark with swarms of children running though your house, turn fast to a glass of Sagelands, 2008, Columbia Valley, Riesling. This Riesling plays well in everyone’s kiddy pool. It’s a golden explosion of light-bright crispness and a balance of lemon, melon and honey smoothness. It’s a lovely way to get to know your neighbor naked or not. Maybe a quick conversation over a glass of this prettiness; what’s the worst that can happen? Only that you succumb to your bi-curious ways and the state shuts you down anyway.
That’s the last one on advice….for now.
Dear Teri Yesterday my neighbor told me they are moving out of state. We have been fine neighbors, but not close. She asked whether we would let her 17-year-old son live with us while he finished his senior year. We barely know these people and are shocked they want us to care for their son. What should we do?
I don’t know. Do you want to live with a 17-year-old boy in your basement? If he’s the quarterback of the football team it might be something to consider. He’ll turn 18 soon and you can ponder that over a glass of Burning Desire (what!), Hard Row to Hoe’s, Estate Cabernet Franc. Wowza, this is a ripe idea that’s built for comfort. With its wet earth and tobacco sensibilities It insuculates you like the first bra your mom bought you when you were 9; I mean 13. A snap of plump plum and blackberry whips you back to your senses for now…. More? Well, I don’t see why not.