Monthly Archives: March 2011

Stay in the Closet with an Unoffensive Wine

While reading my braincandy blogs on Psychology Today, I came across a post recommending NOT coming out to your parents — if they often ‘say things that are anti-gay or homophobic or have threatened to hurt you if they ever found out you are gay.’ While I’m not speaking from experience, this seems like reasonable advice. If it were me, and my parents were skinheads, I’d pop a pour of a 2007, Basel Cellars, Columbia Valley, Claret.  It’s unoffensive and a good place to start a rational discussion. Dark and drippy with black fruit and rooty rhubarb.  It’s steely for dad, yet woody for mom with a bit of greenish sweet tart on the finish. I’d have an extra bottle sitting next to me in the event the conversation calls for a weapon.

Photo: Basel Cellars

Posted by Teri Citterman

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Truth Consensual Incest – Dare Chocolate Wine

“I didn’t know there was no such thing as consensual incest…” WTF?  I heard McKenzie Phillips say that on one of the morning shows the other day. Puzzled?  Well, slightly…. And I had a not-too-dissimilar reach the other night when I drank  Red Decadence, Chocolate Red Wine by Chocolatier.  It’s the ‘god dammit’ wine. You don’t want to like it, but it’s made well and balanced. It’s like a bursting cherry cordial that you didn’t want to bite into, and when you did it sprayed its goodness – and it wasn’t as terrible as I’d predicted. I hate to admit that.  Makes me feel a little dirty.  But not like consensual incest.  Just sayin’….

Photo: Precept Wine Brands

Posted by Teri Citterman

Greasy Pussy Calls for Pinot

It’s been a whirlwind, thus the break. So let’s talk about Sinclair. He has issues. He’d been sick, and when I was on my way to the vet, the  bottom of the crate he was in fell out from under him in the parking garage.  He freaked out and took off. I freaked out and took off after him.  Soon we found ourselves under a car staring face to face, except he was wedged up in the wheel-well. I tugged, but he was stuck. A call to the fire department, then a call back to cancel; the car’s owner and another great guy, willing to help unconditionally.  The car jacked up, the wheel taken off – and two hours later, I stood with my pussy, safe and sound and covered in grease.  This was cause to celebrate with an earthy 2008 Lemelson, Willamette Valley, Pinot Noir. It was strawberry, but not too ripe and leathery – more strapping than salty.  It left a pivotal pucker with a bit of axle grease on the finish – a perfect climax to the day’s ordeal.

Photo: Lemelson Vineyards

Posted by Teri Citterman